Love with its related practical “where will we live” issues, should not get attention only on February 14 or during February. Anticipating the Valentine’s pressures ahead, PJ Wade offers an advance peek at how love and real estate can both come out ahead.
Love and the related practical aspects of it, like “where will we live,” should not get attention only on February 14 or during February.
Love usually hits at unexpected moments, even randomly. Ask couples how they got together and, frequently, it was a surprise or an unexpected meeting.
Keep improving your financial literacy, clarifying real estate goals, and improving your financial position and, when love pops in, you may be in good shape to go for it, love and real estate, that is. You may even move those real estate goals forward to accommodate your new love interest.
The following Seven Perspectives on “Being in the Right Place, at the Right Time” may help you bring love into focus:
#1. In The Right Company
Love can hit randomly, so the people you associate with may dictate who you eventually connect with. One principal of business tells entrepreneurs to associate with those they want to emulate, whose path they would like to duplicate, or those who have visions for the future that drive them on. One school of thought tells us success lies in thinking of our lives and our interest in real estate as if it were a business. Aim to be the CEO of your life goals and you may be attracted to people with similar real estate dreams.
#2. Money Match
If you’re a committed shopaholic, is your dream partner one, too? If you watch every penny, do you aim for a partner who duplicates your thriftiness? Those who are sold on working toward goals, like buying a waterfront property or a farm, may discover their match through a shared interest in the lifestyles related to owning these types of properties. Paths may cross at courses or conferences, which attract people with these goals. Shared real estate dreams may bring people together and keep them together. However, match a goal-oriented real estate dreamer with someone intent on living for today and they may combine forces to achieve more, sooner. The key ingredient is not similarity of real-estate style, but respect for each other’s point of view and willingness to work together to achieve more.
#3. Overcoming Financial Baggage
Ending up in debt after you graduate does not mean you are condemned to financial insecurity. Alone or with a partner you can learn how to improve your financial circumstances. Persistence is the key here. Those who have finally gained financial literacy and stability by working their way out of credit card debt, student loan debt, personal bankruptcy, or a difficult divorce settlement would usually not be attracted to someone who may be in the middle of financial problems like these. That’s why discussions regarding certain financial topics are not commonly considered ideal first-, second-, or even third-date conversations. But they should be. They can be. Try a gentle hint, an open-ended query, briefly relating an amusing financial experience, or asking who’s going to pay for dinner. Revealing reactions may give a hint that there may be more to uncover. Open dialogue is a valuable part of relationship building, especially the long-term kind, so don’t be shy. Just don’t interrogate.
#4. Avoid The Fixer Role
People with financial problems often blame others or the economy for their situation. They may be right to some extent, but neither will get them out of their financial problems. Only they can do that. There’s a big difference between someone who is committed to changing spending patterns, who is actively improving their damaged credit score, or has mapped out realistic real estate goals, and someone who just talks, but changes little. Step back. Don’t rush to be the helper or caregiver for someone with financial problems. Wait and see if there is significant evidence that the individual has made a personal commitment to financial change. There’s a lot of fish in that sea, so don’t be shy about throwing a few back.
#5. A Work In Progress
On the other hand, if you’re the one committed to recovering from recent financial disaster, kudos to you. Persistence pays. Don’t be embarrassed or ashamed about your past. It’s what you do with your present and future that really matter. At first meetings or even after a date or two, honesty may be scarce. However, it’s no good spinning stories to stay in the dating game when there’s a big financial truth to tell. Relate your story well, with intelligence and forthrightness, and you may discover someone who sees you, not your financial misstep. If not, move on joyfully.
#6. Taking The Financial Plunge Together
If your relationship is underway, you should now be clear about your partner’s financial philosophy or know the reason why not. Before you agree to joint accounts and “shared anything” financial from a car loan, credit card, rental lease, or home purchase, be sure you’re not going to be left alone with the debt. Asking questions and taking precautions after you’re stuck with someone else’s debt is disastrous. First, be clear that you’re both on solid financial ground and are committed to the relationship. Do you have a financial or investment advisor? Involving them in joint financial planning may move you both ahead more sanely. Dreaming and hoping are not substitutes for knowing when it comes to finances and real estate.
#7. Love Is Expensive
As February 14 approaches, the pressure to spend, spend, spend to demonstrate your love is going to be coming from all directions, online and off. Celebrate in ways that reveal genuine affection and love. Side-step marketing pitches. Consider saving the “big love” dollars to put your real estate plans in motion. Remember, the lower your credit card debt, the larger the mortgage you’ll qualify for. Now that’s love actually.